I will not try and dignify
The abuse of substance; outer stimuli
Sometimes the soul needs a jump start
To create that which is pegged as art
Really all I do is fantasize
About a better life as mine withers away
And then myself I victimize,
When I’m the only one to blame
Meandering through life I continue to stumble
Furthermore, try to project myself as decent – being humble
When in reality that which is base, is base
All that echoes are undeserved hymns of false praise
Even that is too much; it’ll actually enthuse –
My own guilt, which I had thereby tried to effuse.
A reversal, overbearing malfeasance I become engrossed;
A devastating state of depression from the world’s riposte
A new meaning to killing with kindness.
© Luis Valencia
Fantastic Minds 
Meandering through life I continue to stumble
Furthermore, try to project myself as decent – being humble
When in reality that which is base, is base
All that echoes are undeserved hymns of false praise….
love the lines.
🙂
u know what to do…
I would suggest that u scan the participant list…
many are new,
visiting old ones to secure friendships and get feedback,
visit fresh ones to enjoy fresh talents…
both are nice to have!
I am thrilled to have you.
love the productive mind you have!
😉
Sometimes the soul does need a jump start.
Your words are poignant.
Awesome,
Peace
awesome lines there 🙂
simple beautiful 🙂
m here from Jingle’s rally…
you can read my rally poem at
a wonderful writing 🙂
gosh!!! guilt can kill alright!!! 😦 no feeling can be worse than guilt 😦
but no feeling can teach us a better lesson than guilt 😀
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Like the rhyme scheme you’ve got going on through the first, third, and fourth stanzas–and they give way to some truly stupendous lines.
“A reversal, overbearing malfeasance I become engrossed;
A devastating state of depression from the world’s riposte” ~Fantastic! And a striking message to boot.
Guilt…it’s vicious. Your poem captures the guilty dance so well.
I use my poetry as a way to survive that part of myself, the part that is eaten with guilt, the part that has use substance as jump start to the soul…Your poem really resonates with my own creative process!
so, I appreciate you and your willingness to share more than I can express!
How well you capture the human condition!
awesome lines for sure.. and the second verse is very deep too..!
mine for the rally is ~here~
What a great portrayal of addiction. You worded this so nicely and it kept me mesmerized.
This line is a powerhouse of a statement:
All that echoes are undeserved hymns of false praise
–LOVED this, great work!
lovely participation,
I see you in places…
Happy Thursday!
Oh wow..that’s opened and honest!
I saw alot of myself in these lines.Thank you
Very poignant and simply a wonderful poem. x
I adore this. Such beautiful images! Killing with kindness!
Lovely Lines… So cool…
Happy Rally…
Sweet Dish
–Someone Is Special–
An interesting poem struggling with struggle. I look forward to reading more of your explorations and poetry. – bill
and just in case you haven’t heard, jingle is starting another opportunity to share what we write and to read what others are doing. If you are interested, here is the link: http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/jingle-poetry-open-house-party-welcome.html
thanks for the link man i’ll look into it =]
I enjoyed reading this poem. The subject matter is interesting in its depiction of guilt and how it eats us up. But more than that I like the rhyme scheme and the syllable distribution. I’m not 100% sure if you intended that syllable count to be similar for the first and second stanza, as well as that of the third and fourth, but it was a pleasure to find that in your poem.
I initially read it as is, noting the rhyme scheme. However, the way each line had some sort of cadence made me look into syllable count. I can only hope i counted it right.
Great poem.
Such a delightful read – I love the way the words swirl as you read them, thanks!
very powerful….sometimes the soul does need a jump start!!
That’s beautiful and deep. Lovely.
My Poets Rally Poem: http://robinelizabeth58.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/falling-august-5-2010/
Really all I do is fantasize
About a better life as mine withers away
And then myself I victimize,
When I’m the only one to blame
this stanza is so true to so many hearts. i think we’ve all been in that downward, self destructive spiral. and there is no one to blame but oneself… such a great poem!
check out mine if your interested!
if only the words didnt hit so hard.
still, nice in a thoughtful day =]
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